Teaching kids and teens gratitude

In these extraordinary times many are feeling fearful, sad, depressed, anxious, lonely and many other emotions.


Yet, it is important to remind ourselves what we are grateful for. And that’s something we should be teaching our children and teens.

Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.

Children can be taught to look for the god things in any situation and to appreciate these opportunities or circumstances in their lives.

Those small or overwhelming obstacles could be a lesson or an experience that will open the door to new and wonderful experiences.

By teaching kids and teens gratitude for the good and the bad, you will be raising healthier and happier kids and boost their self esteem.

•Set a good example

•Role play

•Keep a gratitude journal

•Introduce your kids and teens to volunteerism and reaching out to others who need help

•Show them what they should be thankful for even if they don’t have something they want

•Teach kids and teens to see the good in others regardless of whether they like them or not (this is also a good way to educate about bullying prevention)

Parents should model behavior they want their children to have. Make gratitude an everyday practice. Take steps to teach gratitude to your kids and teens and watch them grow up into wonderful adults.
Thanksgiving day is the perfect time to show gratitude. What are you grateful for?

Penn State Students Riot Over Firing of Football Coach Joe Paterno

 

The fact that this story is being written shows us what seems to be more important in the minds of Penn State students – and it’s not the fact that innocent children have been sexually abused and the abuse was covered up. It’s all about money-making college football.

Last night thousands of Penn State students rioted after hearing about the firing of 84 year-old Penn State football coach Joe Paterno. Students screamed and chanted “We want Joe.” They threw rocks and bottles and tipped over a news van.

A 20-year-old junior from Scranton, PA and an 18 year-old freshman from Baltimore told news sources that they thought the decision was a little harsh and said they are just allegations.

Do these students not understand that it is against the law NOT to report child abuse? Are students that immune to horrific and immoral behavior against children, that they would rather see a football coach keep his job?

Do they not understand that child sexual abuse is as bad as it gets? That an adult who took advantage of young boys and took away their very foundation?

What are the parents of the rioters thinking?

There was a witness to the sexual abuse of a 10-year-old boy by coach Jerry Sandusky who told Joe Paterno about the abuse. And many more victims have come forward. Paterno did nothing. He might as well have abused the boys himself.

Paterno, Penn State President Graham Spanier and Penn State have been under great scrutiny since former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was charged last weekend with 40 counts of sexual abuse of children. I repeat 40 counts of child sexual abuse.

Sandusky was arrested last Saturday on charges that he preyed on boys he met through The Second Mile, a charity he founded for at-risk youths. Two high-ranking Penn State administrators also face charges they lied about knowledge of the crimes to a grand jury.

It’s no mistake that child sexual abusers choose careers that deal with children. The Second Mile began as group foster home to help troubled boys.

The grand jury report Read the grand jury report is startling and portrays the actions of a typical child molester.

As a child advocate for over 20 years, it is appalling enough to read the grand jury report because our weakest ones have been egregiously abused, hurt and taken advantage of. Yet to see young adults take the side of Paterno and riot over his dismissal because football is more important – because Penn State will somehow not be able to go on without Paterno leaves one shaking their head in complete disbelief and anger – because where have we as a society gone wrong with teaching our young adults values and morals?

The behavior of the rioting Penn State students needs discussion, education and awareness. The silence of Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier needs criminal investigation. And the audacious acts of Jerry Sandusky need a trial that will convict him of being the child molester he is.

As far as college football, I don’t really know much about it or care to, but I am told there is quite a bit of money to made from this sport.

We’ve been dealing with corporate greed and now it’s come down to the greed of a football coach who made millions and who kept silent for a football team and a college and allowed young boys to be sexually abused.

What does that say about our society and how can we explain this to our child victims?

Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer

Love Our Children USA

Parents Selling Their Children – Sexual Exploitation of Minors

By Guest Blogger Christopher Burgess

There are days when you read a piece in the news and shake your head in disbelief. That was the case yesterday when I read of a couple (Anthony Wayne Hart, 47 and his wife Kathy Lee Hart, 43) indicted in Madison County, Virginia on charges of “human trafficking” of their daughters. The grand jury indictment read, “arranging for their 13 and 14-year-old daughters to provide companionship and affection to male individuals in exchange for money and goods …” The incidents took place between 10 October 2009 and 24 February 2011.


While the fact that any parent would do this to their minor children is and of itself disgusting, the true disappointment was in the realization that this was totally avoidable and the children could have been protected from their parents who had demonstrated their lack of ability to parent some nine years prior. You see, in 2002, that same couple had been arrested and indicted for attempting to sell a three-month old daughter for adoption. Anthony Wayne Hart entered into a plea agreement and was sentenced to two-years in prison. The charges against Kathy Lee Hart were dismissed, she had been found incompetent to stand trial.

This begs the question. How is it possible that these two individuals still had custody of their children, some nine years following their arrest and conviction for attempting to sell one of their children?

The charges facing the Hart’s carry up to 20 years in prison. The children are in foster care and will not be returned to their parents.

Visit http://t.co/yzV4QHT to read more by Christopher Burgess

School Cover Up: Injustice to a Little Girl in Naples, Fl

Recently, I wrote an article about Steven Noyes, a teacher in Naples, Florida who has been accused of inappropriately touching his former 9 year-old female student Jane Doe. (See blog post May 21st.)


Why former?

The school expelled little Jane Doe. The teacher has refused to cooperate with police and has returned to teaching at the private Christian Village School in Naples, Fl. which is affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church,

Not only does Noyes refuse to cooperate with police, but he has recently been seen hugging children in school and holding hands with students. Odd that should happen especially when the parents reported the abuse to Ginger Sauter, the school’s principal, and she told the parents “this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”

It’s bad enough that Noyes has been accused of inappropriately touching a child, but why is he holding hands with a student? Why is he hugging students?

The injustice to Jane Doe is unfair. She has not only been violated but she has been forced to go to a new school, make new friends and leave everything behind because of a teacher’s indiscretions and a school’s incompetence to handle the situation properly.

As reported earlier, the teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child molester.

And holding hands and hugging little children is beyond their realm of “wrong.”

We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.

This case should serve as a wake-up call to all parents. Never say “It won’t happen to my kid” because it happened to Jane Doe who comes from a lovely Christian family with parents who entrusted the care and well-being to this school – to this teacher.

Jane Doe deserves justice! Her claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.

Steven Noyes lived and taught in Harrington, Maine and moved Naples, Fl where he teaches at the Christian Village School.

Why is the teacher being protected by the school when it’s Jane Doe who should be protected?

Teacher child abuse happens in every state, but never has a student been told to leave school for telling the truth.
If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873

If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999

Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453

Please help Jane Doe get the justice she deserves.

Teacher Accused of Molesting Student: Cover Up

When we send our children to school, we expect that the school, its principal, teachers and its faculty are going to protect our children.

Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.

It never enters into our minds that a “beloved” teacher would touch our children inappropriately or have sex with them.

The sad reality is that it does happen and it recently took place in Naples, Fl.

On May, 19th, Robin Sax, a California-based attorney and former sex crimes prosecutor, who is a frequent network TV commentator on high-profile legal cases and a national expert in child sexual abuse, and Jeff Herman, a nationally-recognized advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse filed filing of a new lawsuit against The Village School, a Naples-area private school affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church, for the sexual abuse of a 9 year old student at the school.

The nine year old little girl was touched inappropriately by her homeroom teacher, Steven Noyes. The police investigated the case, but when the teacher in question didn’t cooperate, they dropped the ball. The teacher was not willing to talk to police nor take a poly.

The parents are really amazing and brave. They are standing up for their little girl in the way every parent should not just by believing her but by doing everything right from the first minute until now. Obviously, they are devastated but remain strong and committed to what is right.

WHO BELIEVES JANE DOE?

A little girl comes home with a terrible secret, she’s just been touched by her favorite teacher; touched in a way she knows is wrong. What any one familiar with sexual assault will know is that this is was likely the beginning of the touching while the grooming of Jane Doe happened for months.

Jane Doe does exactly what we teach our children to do. If someone touches you inappropriately – TELL someone.

And that’s just what Jane Doe did. But what happened next has left her family hurt, angry and ready to fight for justice for this very brave little girl.

The injustice begins in a tight-knit Naples, FL community at a school dedicated to Christian values where Doe has been a student since kindergarten. She is an outgoing, kind girl, who still to this day doesn’t even get the sexual nature of a breast touch as sex, and breasts even being sexual are not even on her radar.

Her parents are the kind of people you’d want in your community, in your school, and as the support system to a traumatized kid. You want them as your friends. They are church going, softball playing, parents who take pride in their value-driven life. In fact, they chose Doe’s school because of its mission of, “educating the child’s mind, body, and spirit through Christian values in an ever-changing world.”

Since the day they told Doe’s story to the school, they’ve felt anything but Christian values.

THE INCIDENT:

Just after Christmas break Jane Doe is in her homeroom class working on her math homework and gets stumped on a long division problem and asks her teacher for help. She goes up to her teacher’s desk, and that’s when it happens.

As Doe tells her mother and father, the teacher began helping her with her first question. He put his hand under her dress and on her knee. Then, he reached his hand up her back and under her shirt, coming around the front to rub her chest. He keeps his hand there while he helps her with three other math problems.

Afterwards, Doe thanks him and returns to her seat.

THE AFTERMATH:

The parents didn’t panic, but they did want answers. They approached the head of the school and heard her say, “This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”

Then things quickly turned from bad to worse. The school expels little Jane Doe (THE MOST EGREGIOUS PART OF THIS CASE!!) The teacher, has refused to cooperate with police, has returned to his job.

PRIOR TO ANY LAWSUIT, attorneys made many attempts to simply get answers. There was no desire to sue — just a desire to make sure there was a proper police and school investigation. While the police partially did their job, the school failed this family, and Jane Doe. Attorneys tried to get information, and were told the only way to do it was to bring a case.

Thus, THE LAWSUIT:

This is the story of a father who believes, and is standing up for his little girl. It’s about a mother who wants to make sure no other child goes through the pain and suffering her daughter has. The goal in filing a suit is to get answers, to hold the school accountable, to make sure that this case is not simply swept under the rug. It is our goal to have a safe forum for people to come forward as we know that there are likely other victims out there.

Child sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children!

The teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child abuser.

We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.

To believe it can’t happen to us and our children – that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being — is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual — they don’t discriminate.

Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.

Jane Doe should have justice. This never should have happened to her. She should not have been touched inappropriately by her teacher, nor should she have been told to leave school for telling the truth.

Jane Doe’s claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.

Steven Noyes lived with his parents in Maine and taught there. Subsequently he moved to Naples, Fl where he lives alone in his parent’s apartment and teaches at the Village School.

If you see something – say something! If you know something – report it!

We must protect our children instead of protecting the people who hurt them. We must protect Jane Doe!

If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873

If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999

Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453

Ross Ellis
Child Advocate, Media Commentator
Founder and Chief Executive Officer, Love Our Children USA

To Spank or Not To Spank … Mom’s The Word

Today Beth Feldman, Rolemommy.com and mom extraordinaire and Dr. Laurence Balter appeared on WPIX to talk about spanking.

Love Our Children USA ascribes to what they have to say.

Hear what they have to say on the show See the Video

Abusive teachers: Are our children safe at school?

In the midst of National Child Abuse Prevention month teachers are in the news. Not for stellar teaching but for abusing children.

• Waterville, NY: David Lemery, a physical education teacher has been accused of sexually abusing a young girl while in school
• New York City: Sabrina Milo, a 34 year-old teacher was arrested for telling co-workers she planned to bring a shotgun to school and "settle some scores" in what was described as a "Columbine style" plot.
• Bronx, NY: An 11-year-old Bronx girl has sued New York City, claiming that police officers overreacted last spring, handcuffing her after a fight with a third-grade classmate and denying her mother’s request to be present when they interviewed her.
• Moutainview, CO: Courtney Bowles, a former teacher at Mountain View High School, got national exposure for having sex with a student in a car
• Huntsville, AL: A Huntsville elementary school teacher arrested on several counts of sexual abuse against students
• Mirimar, FL: teacher tapes 13 year-old student’s mouth shut for talking in class
• Brevard County, FL: Group Leader at South Lake Elementary School taped a 5-year-old student to a chair with packing tape. 

Child abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children!

Whether it’s sexual abuse or corporal punishment, child abuse in our schools is happening all over the country. Although the vast majority of educators and other school employees are not child abusers, the stories continue to unfold throughout our nation.

A former teacher was sitting in the audience of the popular TV talk show “The Talk” and when asked her views on corporal punishment she said she believed in hitting a student to keep them disciplined.

Corporal punishment must not be allowed.

  

Any sexual contact between teacher and student is a crime. Sexual abuse is a child becoming a sexual partner for an adult. Anyone under the age of 18 who is used by an adult for sexual gratification is being Sexually Abused whether or not the child consents.

Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.

To believe it can't happen to us and our children - that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being --- is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual -- they don't discriminate.

What can we do?

Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.

We must insist for and demand:

• Laws that mandate fingerprinting teachers and other school employees and conduct FBI checks on their criminal history

• Educate about child abuse prevention education beginning at the school board level … establishing strong, clear policies that warn teachers of inappropriate conduct, such as putting themselves in vulnerable positions where they are alone with students.

• Hold mandatory child abuse prevention training and educational seminars for all staff including teachers, bus drivers, cooks, etc. on a monthly basis. Training sessions can help educators understand their district's policy, the warning signs of possible sexual abuse, and the procedures for reporting abuse when they see it.

• School leaders must make it clear to all staff that the district is serious about investigating any hint of child sexual abuse.

• District policies must stress all employees are mandated to report any suspicion of sexual misconduct and make clear that they will be disciplined if they fail to do so

• Stricter reference and background checks. Meticulously screening of new hires. School administrators must do criminal background checks on applicants and call their former employers and associates, including some who may not be listed on their resumes. Be leery of gaps and frequent changes in an applicant's job history.

• Remove the accused teacher from contact with children, usually with a suspension, during the investigation

• Immediately notify police or community social service authorities.

• Train students about inappropriate behavior by adults and where to report it if they ever see it occur

• Organize a team of supervised peer counselors where students have a place to go

We must write to our legislators and demand Zero Tolerance.

Contact your politicians and ask for stronger laws that protect our children and for a stronger statute on mandated reporting of child abuse. All responsible citizens with knowledge of child abuse, which is a crime, should be required to report it, even if it's only suspected. Write letters, e-mail, make phone calls … take action.

It's time for America to wake-up! Knowledge is power. Learn all you can about child abuse. Educate yourself, your children, your family, your friends, neighbors --- everyone you know. We must keep our children safe!

April is National Child Abuse Prevention month.