In these extraordinary times many are feeling fearful, sad, depressed, anxious, lonely and many other emotions.
Yet, it is important to remind ourselves what we are grateful for. And that’s something we should be teaching our children and teens.
Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.
Children can be taught to look for the god things in any situation and to appreciate these opportunities or circumstances in their lives.
Those small or overwhelming obstacles could be a lesson or an experience that will open the door to new and wonderful experiences.
By teaching kids and teens gratitude for the good and the bad, you will be raising healthier and happier kids and boost their self esteem.
•Set a good example
•Role play
•Keep a gratitude journal
•Introduce your kids and teens to volunteerism and reaching out to others who need help
•Show them what they should be thankful for even if they don’t have something they want
•Teach kids and teens to see the good in others regardless of whether they like them or not (this is also a good way to educate about bullying prevention)
Parents should model behavior they want their children to have. Make gratitude an everyday practice. Take steps to teach gratitude to your kids and teens and watch them grow up into wonderful adults.
Thanksgiving day is the perfect time to show gratitude. What are you grateful for?
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Penn State Students Riot Over Firing of Football Coach Joe Paterno
The fact that this story is being written shows us what seems to be more important in the minds of Penn State students – and it’s not the fact that innocent children have been sexually abused and the abuse was covered up. It’s all about money-making college football.
Last night thousands of Penn State students rioted after hearing about the firing of 84 year-old Penn State football coach Joe Paterno. Students screamed and chanted “We want Joe.” They threw rocks and bottles and tipped over a news van.
A 20-year-old junior from Scranton, PA and an 18 year-old freshman from Baltimore told news sources that they thought the decision was a little harsh and said they are just allegations.
Do these students not understand that it is against the law NOT to report child abuse? Are students that immune to horrific and immoral behavior against children, that they would rather see a football coach keep his job?
Do they not understand that child sexual abuse is as bad as it gets? That an adult who took advantage of young boys and took away their very foundation?
What are the parents of the rioters thinking?
There was a witness to the sexual abuse of a 10-year-old boy by coach Jerry Sandusky who told Joe Paterno about the abuse. And many more victims have come forward. Paterno did nothing. He might as well have abused the boys himself.
Paterno, Penn State President Graham Spanier and Penn State have been under great scrutiny since former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was charged last weekend with 40 counts of sexual abuse of children. I repeat 40 counts of child sexual abuse.
Sandusky was arrested last Saturday on charges that he preyed on boys he met through The Second Mile, a charity he founded for at-risk youths. Two high-ranking Penn State administrators also face charges they lied about knowledge of the crimes to a grand jury.
It’s no mistake that child sexual abusers choose careers that deal with children. The Second Mile began as group foster home to help troubled boys.
The grand jury report Read the grand jury report is startling and portrays the actions of a typical child molester.
As a child advocate for over 20 years, it is appalling enough to read the grand jury report because our weakest ones have been egregiously abused, hurt and taken advantage of. Yet to see young adults take the side of Paterno and riot over his dismissal because football is more important – because Penn State will somehow not be able to go on without Paterno leaves one shaking their head in complete disbelief and anger – because where have we as a society gone wrong with teaching our young adults values and morals?
The behavior of the rioting Penn State students needs discussion, education and awareness. The silence of Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier needs criminal investigation. And the audacious acts of Jerry Sandusky need a trial that will convict him of being the child molester he is.
As far as college football, I don’t really know much about it or care to, but I am told there is quite a bit of money to made from this sport.
We’ve been dealing with corporate greed and now it’s come down to the greed of a football coach who made millions and who kept silent for a football team and a college and allowed young boys to be sexually abused.
What does that say about our society and how can we explain this to our child victims?
Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
Last night thousands of Penn State students rioted after hearing about the firing of 84 year-old Penn State football coach Joe Paterno. Students screamed and chanted “We want Joe.” They threw rocks and bottles and tipped over a news van.
A 20-year-old junior from Scranton, PA and an 18 year-old freshman from Baltimore told news sources that they thought the decision was a little harsh and said they are just allegations.
Do these students not understand that it is against the law NOT to report child abuse? Are students that immune to horrific and immoral behavior against children, that they would rather see a football coach keep his job?
Do they not understand that child sexual abuse is as bad as it gets? That an adult who took advantage of young boys and took away their very foundation?
What are the parents of the rioters thinking?
There was a witness to the sexual abuse of a 10-year-old boy by coach Jerry Sandusky who told Joe Paterno about the abuse. And many more victims have come forward. Paterno did nothing. He might as well have abused the boys himself.
Paterno, Penn State President Graham Spanier and Penn State have been under great scrutiny since former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was charged last weekend with 40 counts of sexual abuse of children. I repeat 40 counts of child sexual abuse.
Sandusky was arrested last Saturday on charges that he preyed on boys he met through The Second Mile, a charity he founded for at-risk youths. Two high-ranking Penn State administrators also face charges they lied about knowledge of the crimes to a grand jury.
It’s no mistake that child sexual abusers choose careers that deal with children. The Second Mile began as group foster home to help troubled boys.
The grand jury report Read the grand jury report is startling and portrays the actions of a typical child molester.
As a child advocate for over 20 years, it is appalling enough to read the grand jury report because our weakest ones have been egregiously abused, hurt and taken advantage of. Yet to see young adults take the side of Paterno and riot over his dismissal because football is more important – because Penn State will somehow not be able to go on without Paterno leaves one shaking their head in complete disbelief and anger – because where have we as a society gone wrong with teaching our young adults values and morals?
The behavior of the rioting Penn State students needs discussion, education and awareness. The silence of Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier needs criminal investigation. And the audacious acts of Jerry Sandusky need a trial that will convict him of being the child molester he is.
As far as college football, I don’t really know much about it or care to, but I am told there is quite a bit of money to made from this sport.
We’ve been dealing with corporate greed and now it’s come down to the greed of a football coach who made millions and who kept silent for a football team and a college and allowed young boys to be sexually abused.
What does that say about our society and how can we explain this to our child victims?
Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
Love Our Children USA
Friday, July 1, 2011
Parents Selling Their Children – Sexual Exploitation of Minors
By Guest Blogger Christopher Burgess
There are days when you read a piece in the news and shake your head in disbelief. That was the case yesterday when I read of a couple (Anthony Wayne Hart, 47 and his wife Kathy Lee Hart, 43) indicted in Madison County, Virginia on charges of “human trafficking” of their daughters. The grand jury indictment read, “arranging for their 13 and 14-year-old daughters to provide companionship and affection to male individuals in exchange for money and goods …” The incidents took place between 10 October 2009 and 24 February 2011.
While the fact that any parent would do this to their minor children is and of itself disgusting, the true disappointment was in the realization that this was totally avoidable and the children could have been protected from their parents who had demonstrated their lack of ability to parent some nine years prior. You see, in 2002, that same couple had been arrested and indicted for attempting to sell a three-month old daughter for adoption. Anthony Wayne Hart entered into a plea agreement and was sentenced to two-years in prison. The charges against Kathy Lee Hart were dismissed, she had been found incompetent to stand trial.
This begs the question. How is it possible that these two individuals still had custody of their children, some nine years following their arrest and conviction for attempting to sell one of their children?
The charges facing the Hart’s carry up to 20 years in prison. The children are in foster care and will not be returned to their parents.
Visit http://t.co/yzV4QHT to read more by Christopher Burgess
There are days when you read a piece in the news and shake your head in disbelief. That was the case yesterday when I read of a couple (Anthony Wayne Hart, 47 and his wife Kathy Lee Hart, 43) indicted in Madison County, Virginia on charges of “human trafficking” of their daughters. The grand jury indictment read, “arranging for their 13 and 14-year-old daughters to provide companionship and affection to male individuals in exchange for money and goods …” The incidents took place between 10 October 2009 and 24 February 2011.
While the fact that any parent would do this to their minor children is and of itself disgusting, the true disappointment was in the realization that this was totally avoidable and the children could have been protected from their parents who had demonstrated their lack of ability to parent some nine years prior. You see, in 2002, that same couple had been arrested and indicted for attempting to sell a three-month old daughter for adoption. Anthony Wayne Hart entered into a plea agreement and was sentenced to two-years in prison. The charges against Kathy Lee Hart were dismissed, she had been found incompetent to stand trial.
This begs the question. How is it possible that these two individuals still had custody of their children, some nine years following their arrest and conviction for attempting to sell one of their children?
The charges facing the Hart’s carry up to 20 years in prison. The children are in foster care and will not be returned to their parents.
Visit http://t.co/yzV4QHT to read more by Christopher Burgess
Sunday, June 5, 2011
School Cover Up: Injustice to a Little Girl in Naples, Fl
Recently, I wrote an article about Steven Noyes, a teacher in Naples, Florida who has been accused of inappropriately touching his former 9 year-old female student Jane Doe. (See blog post May 21st.)
Why former?
The school expelled little Jane Doe. The teacher has refused to cooperate with police and has returned to teaching at the private Christian Village School in Naples, Fl. which is affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church,
Not only does Noyes refuse to cooperate with police, but he has recently been seen hugging children in school and holding hands with students. Odd that should happen especially when the parents reported the abuse to Ginger Sauter, the school’s principal, and she told the parents “this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”
It’s bad enough that Noyes has been accused of inappropriately touching a child, but why is he holding hands with a student? Why is he hugging students?
The injustice to Jane Doe is unfair. She has not only been violated but she has been forced to go to a new school, make new friends and leave everything behind because of a teacher’s indiscretions and a school’s incompetence to handle the situation properly.
As reported earlier, the teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child molester.
And holding hands and hugging little children is beyond their realm of “wrong.”
We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.
This case should serve as a wake-up call to all parents. Never say “It won’t happen to my kid” because it happened to Jane Doe who comes from a lovely Christian family with parents who entrusted the care and well-being to this school – to this teacher.
Jane Doe deserves justice! Her claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.
Steven Noyes lived and taught in Harrington, Maine and moved Naples, Fl where he teaches at the Christian Village School.
Why is the teacher being protected by the school when it’s Jane Doe who should be protected?
Teacher child abuse happens in every state, but never has a student been told to leave school for telling the truth.
If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873
If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999
Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453
Why former?
The school expelled little Jane Doe. The teacher has refused to cooperate with police and has returned to teaching at the private Christian Village School in Naples, Fl. which is affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church,
Not only does Noyes refuse to cooperate with police, but he has recently been seen hugging children in school and holding hands with students. Odd that should happen especially when the parents reported the abuse to Ginger Sauter, the school’s principal, and she told the parents “this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”
It’s bad enough that Noyes has been accused of inappropriately touching a child, but why is he holding hands with a student? Why is he hugging students?
The injustice to Jane Doe is unfair. She has not only been violated but she has been forced to go to a new school, make new friends and leave everything behind because of a teacher’s indiscretions and a school’s incompetence to handle the situation properly.
As reported earlier, the teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child molester.
And holding hands and hugging little children is beyond their realm of “wrong.”
We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.
This case should serve as a wake-up call to all parents. Never say “It won’t happen to my kid” because it happened to Jane Doe who comes from a lovely Christian family with parents who entrusted the care and well-being to this school – to this teacher.
Jane Doe deserves justice! Her claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.
Steven Noyes lived and taught in Harrington, Maine and moved Naples, Fl where he teaches at the Christian Village School.
Why is the teacher being protected by the school when it’s Jane Doe who should be protected?
Teacher child abuse happens in every state, but never has a student been told to leave school for telling the truth.
If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873
If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999
Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453
Please help Jane Doe get the justice she deserves.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Teacher Accused of Molesting Student: Cover Up
When we send our children to school, we expect that the school, its principal, teachers and its faculty are going to protect our children.
Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.
It never enters into our minds that a “beloved” teacher would touch our children inappropriately or have sex with them.
The sad reality is that it does happen and it recently took place in Naples, Fl.
On May, 19th, Robin Sax, a California-based attorney and former sex crimes prosecutor, who is a frequent network TV commentator on high-profile legal cases and a national expert in child sexual abuse, and Jeff Herman, a nationally-recognized advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse filed filing of a new lawsuit against The Village School, a Naples-area private school affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church, for the sexual abuse of a 9 year old student at the school.
The nine year old little girl was touched inappropriately by her homeroom teacher, Steven Noyes. The police investigated the case, but when the teacher in question didn’t cooperate, they dropped the ball. The teacher was not willing to talk to police nor take a poly.
The parents are really amazing and brave. They are standing up for their little girl in the way every parent should not just by believing her but by doing everything right from the first minute until now. Obviously, they are devastated but remain strong and committed to what is right.
WHO BELIEVES JANE DOE?
A little girl comes home with a terrible secret, she’s just been touched by her favorite teacher; touched in a way she knows is wrong. What any one familiar with sexual assault will know is that this is was likely the beginning of the touching while the grooming of Jane Doe happened for months.
Jane Doe does exactly what we teach our children to do. If someone touches you inappropriately – TELL someone.
And that’s just what Jane Doe did. But what happened next has left her family hurt, angry and ready to fight for justice for this very brave little girl.
The injustice begins in a tight-knit Naples, FL community at a school dedicated to Christian values where Doe has been a student since kindergarten. She is an outgoing, kind girl, who still to this day doesn’t even get the sexual nature of a breast touch as sex, and breasts even being sexual are not even on her radar.
Her parents are the kind of people you’d want in your community, in your school, and as the support system to a traumatized kid. You want them as your friends. They are church going, softball playing, parents who take pride in their value-driven life. In fact, they chose Doe’s school because of its mission of, “educating the child’s mind, body, and spirit through Christian values in an ever-changing world.”
Since the day they told Doe’s story to the school, they’ve felt anything but Christian values.
THE INCIDENT:
Just after Christmas break Jane Doe is in her homeroom class working on her math homework and gets stumped on a long division problem and asks her teacher for help. She goes up to her teacher’s desk, and that’s when it happens.
As Doe tells her mother and father, the teacher began helping her with her first question. He put his hand under her dress and on her knee. Then, he reached his hand up her back and under her shirt, coming around the front to rub her chest. He keeps his hand there while he helps her with three other math problems.
Afterwards, Doe thanks him and returns to her seat.
THE AFTERMATH:
The parents didn’t panic, but they did want answers. They approached the head of the school and heard her say, “This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”
Then things quickly turned from bad to worse. The school expels little Jane Doe (THE MOST EGREGIOUS PART OF THIS CASE!!) The teacher, has refused to cooperate with police, has returned to his job.
PRIOR TO ANY LAWSUIT, attorneys made many attempts to simply get answers. There was no desire to sue — just a desire to make sure there was a proper police and school investigation. While the police partially did their job, the school failed this family, and Jane Doe. Attorneys tried to get information, and were told the only way to do it was to bring a case.
Thus, THE LAWSUIT:
This is the story of a father who believes, and is standing up for his little girl. It’s about a mother who wants to make sure no other child goes through the pain and suffering her daughter has. The goal in filing a suit is to get answers, to hold the school accountable, to make sure that this case is not simply swept under the rug. It is our goal to have a safe forum for people to come forward as we know that there are likely other victims out there.
Child sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children!
The teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child abuser.
We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.
To believe it can’t happen to us and our children – that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being — is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual — they don’t discriminate.
Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.
Jane Doe should have justice. This never should have happened to her. She should not have been touched inappropriately by her teacher, nor should she have been told to leave school for telling the truth.
Jane Doe’s claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.
Steven Noyes lived with his parents in Maine and taught there. Subsequently he moved to Naples, Fl where he lives alone in his parent’s apartment and teaches at the Village School.
If you see something – say something! If you know something – report it!
We must protect our children instead of protecting the people who hurt them. We must protect Jane Doe!
If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873
If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999
Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453
Ross Ellis
Child Advocate, Media Commentator
Founder and Chief Executive Officer, Love Our Children USA
Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.
It never enters into our minds that a “beloved” teacher would touch our children inappropriately or have sex with them.
The sad reality is that it does happen and it recently took place in Naples, Fl.
On May, 19th, Robin Sax, a California-based attorney and former sex crimes prosecutor, who is a frequent network TV commentator on high-profile legal cases and a national expert in child sexual abuse, and Jeff Herman, a nationally-recognized advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse filed filing of a new lawsuit against The Village School, a Naples-area private school affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church, for the sexual abuse of a 9 year old student at the school.
The nine year old little girl was touched inappropriately by her homeroom teacher, Steven Noyes. The police investigated the case, but when the teacher in question didn’t cooperate, they dropped the ball. The teacher was not willing to talk to police nor take a poly.
The parents are really amazing and brave. They are standing up for their little girl in the way every parent should not just by believing her but by doing everything right from the first minute until now. Obviously, they are devastated but remain strong and committed to what is right.
WHO BELIEVES JANE DOE?
A little girl comes home with a terrible secret, she’s just been touched by her favorite teacher; touched in a way she knows is wrong. What any one familiar with sexual assault will know is that this is was likely the beginning of the touching while the grooming of Jane Doe happened for months.
Jane Doe does exactly what we teach our children to do. If someone touches you inappropriately – TELL someone.
And that’s just what Jane Doe did. But what happened next has left her family hurt, angry and ready to fight for justice for this very brave little girl.
The injustice begins in a tight-knit Naples, FL community at a school dedicated to Christian values where Doe has been a student since kindergarten. She is an outgoing, kind girl, who still to this day doesn’t even get the sexual nature of a breast touch as sex, and breasts even being sexual are not even on her radar.
Her parents are the kind of people you’d want in your community, in your school, and as the support system to a traumatized kid. You want them as your friends. They are church going, softball playing, parents who take pride in their value-driven life. In fact, they chose Doe’s school because of its mission of, “educating the child’s mind, body, and spirit through Christian values in an ever-changing world.”
Since the day they told Doe’s story to the school, they’ve felt anything but Christian values.
THE INCIDENT:
Just after Christmas break Jane Doe is in her homeroom class working on her math homework and gets stumped on a long division problem and asks her teacher for help. She goes up to her teacher’s desk, and that’s when it happens.
As Doe tells her mother and father, the teacher began helping her with her first question. He put his hand under her dress and on her knee. Then, he reached his hand up her back and under her shirt, coming around the front to rub her chest. He keeps his hand there while he helps her with three other math problems.
Afterwards, Doe thanks him and returns to her seat.
THE AFTERMATH:
The parents didn’t panic, but they did want answers. They approached the head of the school and heard her say, “This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”
Then things quickly turned from bad to worse. The school expels little Jane Doe (THE MOST EGREGIOUS PART OF THIS CASE!!) The teacher, has refused to cooperate with police, has returned to his job.
PRIOR TO ANY LAWSUIT, attorneys made many attempts to simply get answers. There was no desire to sue — just a desire to make sure there was a proper police and school investigation. While the police partially did their job, the school failed this family, and Jane Doe. Attorneys tried to get information, and were told the only way to do it was to bring a case.
Thus, THE LAWSUIT:
This is the story of a father who believes, and is standing up for his little girl. It’s about a mother who wants to make sure no other child goes through the pain and suffering her daughter has. The goal in filing a suit is to get answers, to hold the school accountable, to make sure that this case is not simply swept under the rug. It is our goal to have a safe forum for people to come forward as we know that there are likely other victims out there.
Child sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children!
The teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child abuser.
We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.
To believe it can’t happen to us and our children – that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being — is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual — they don’t discriminate.
Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.
Jane Doe should have justice. This never should have happened to her. She should not have been touched inappropriately by her teacher, nor should she have been told to leave school for telling the truth.
Jane Doe’s claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.
Steven Noyes lived with his parents in Maine and taught there. Subsequently he moved to Naples, Fl where he lives alone in his parent’s apartment and teaches at the Village School.
If you see something – say something! If you know something – report it!
We must protect our children instead of protecting the people who hurt them. We must protect Jane Doe!
If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873
If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999
Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453
Ross Ellis
Child Advocate, Media Commentator
Founder and Chief Executive Officer, Love Our Children USA
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
To Spank or Not To Spank … Mom’s The Word
Today Beth Feldman, Rolemommy.com and mom extraordinaire and Dr. Laurence Balter appeared on WPIX to talk about spanking.
Love Our Children USA ascribes to what they have to say.
Hear what they have to say on the show See the Video
Love Our Children USA ascribes to what they have to say.
Hear what they have to say on the show See the Video
Labels:
Beth Feldman,
discipline,
Dr. Laurence Balter,
Rolemommy.com,
spanking
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Abusive teachers: Are our children safe at school?
In the midst of National Child Abuse Prevention month teachers are in the news. Not for stellar teaching but for abusing children.
Whether it’s sexual abuse or corporal punishment, child abuse in our schools is happening all over the country. Although the vast majority of educators and other school employees are not child abusers, the stories continue to unfold throughout our nation.
A former teacher was sitting in the audience of the popular TV talk show “The Talk” and when asked her views on corporal punishment she said she believed in hitting a student to keep them disciplined.
Corporal punishment must not be allowed.
Any sexual contact between teacher and student is a crime. Sexual abuse is a child becoming a sexual partner for an adult. Anyone under the age of 18 who is used by an adult for sexual gratification is being Sexually Abused whether or not the child consents.
Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.
To believe it can't happen to us and our children - that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being --- is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual -- they don't discriminate.
What can we do?
Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.
We must insist for and demand:
• Laws that mandate fingerprinting teachers and other school employees and conduct FBI checks on their criminal history
• Educate about child abuse prevention education beginning at the school board level … establishing strong, clear policies that warn teachers of inappropriate conduct, such as putting themselves in vulnerable positions where they are alone with students.
• Hold mandatory child abuse prevention training and educational seminars for all staff including teachers, bus drivers, cooks, etc. on a monthly basis. Training sessions can help educators understand their district's policy, the warning signs of possible sexual abuse, and the procedures for reporting abuse when they see it.
• School leaders must make it clear to all staff that the district is serious about investigating any hint of child sexual abuse.
• District policies must stress all employees are mandated to report any suspicion of sexual misconduct and make clear that they will be disciplined if they fail to do so
• Stricter reference and background checks. Meticulously screening of new hires. School administrators must do criminal background checks on applicants and call their former employers and associates, including some who may not be listed on their resumes. Be leery of gaps and frequent changes in an applicant's job history.
• Remove the accused teacher from contact with children, usually with a suspension, during the investigation
• Immediately notify police or community social service authorities.
• Train students about inappropriate behavior by adults and where to report it if they ever see it occur
• Organize a team of supervised peer counselors where students have a place to go
We must write to our legislators and demand Zero Tolerance.
Contact your politicians and ask for stronger laws that protect our children and for a stronger statute on mandated reporting of child abuse. All responsible citizens with knowledge of child abuse, which is a crime, should be required to report it, even if it's only suspected. Write letters, e-mail, make phone calls … take action.
It's time for America to wake-up! Knowledge is power. Learn all you can about child abuse. Educate yourself, your children, your family, your friends, neighbors --- everyone you know. We must keep our children safe!
April is National Child Abuse Prevention month.
- Waterville, NY: David Lemery, a physical education teacher has been accused of sexually abusing a young girl while in school
- New York City: Sabrina Milo, a 34 year-old teacher was arrested for telling co-workers she planned to bring a shotgun to school and "settle some scores" in what was described as a "Columbine style" plot.
- Bronx, NY: An 11-year-old Bronx girl has sued New York City, claiming that police officers overreacted last spring, handcuffing her after a fight with a third-grade classmate and denying her mother’s request to be present when they interviewed her.
- Moutainview, CO: Courtney Bowles, a former teacher at Mountain View High School, got national exposure for having sex with a student in a car
- Huntsville, AL: A Huntsville elementary school teacher arrested on several counts of sexual abuse against students
- Mirimar, FL: teacher tapes 13 year-old student’s mouth shut for talking in class
- Brevard County, FL: Group Leader at South Lake Elementary School taped a 5-year-old student to a chair with packing tape.
Whether it’s sexual abuse or corporal punishment, child abuse in our schools is happening all over the country. Although the vast majority of educators and other school employees are not child abusers, the stories continue to unfold throughout our nation.
A former teacher was sitting in the audience of the popular TV talk show “The Talk” and when asked her views on corporal punishment she said she believed in hitting a student to keep them disciplined.
Corporal punishment must not be allowed.
Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.
To believe it can't happen to us and our children - that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being --- is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual -- they don't discriminate.
What can we do?
Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.
We must insist for and demand:
• Laws that mandate fingerprinting teachers and other school employees and conduct FBI checks on their criminal history
• Educate about child abuse prevention education beginning at the school board level … establishing strong, clear policies that warn teachers of inappropriate conduct, such as putting themselves in vulnerable positions where they are alone with students.
• Hold mandatory child abuse prevention training and educational seminars for all staff including teachers, bus drivers, cooks, etc. on a monthly basis. Training sessions can help educators understand their district's policy, the warning signs of possible sexual abuse, and the procedures for reporting abuse when they see it.
• School leaders must make it clear to all staff that the district is serious about investigating any hint of child sexual abuse.
• District policies must stress all employees are mandated to report any suspicion of sexual misconduct and make clear that they will be disciplined if they fail to do so
• Stricter reference and background checks. Meticulously screening of new hires. School administrators must do criminal background checks on applicants and call their former employers and associates, including some who may not be listed on their resumes. Be leery of gaps and frequent changes in an applicant's job history.
• Remove the accused teacher from contact with children, usually with a suspension, during the investigation
• Immediately notify police or community social service authorities.
• Train students about inappropriate behavior by adults and where to report it if they ever see it occur
• Organize a team of supervised peer counselors where students have a place to go
We must write to our legislators and demand Zero Tolerance.
Contact your politicians and ask for stronger laws that protect our children and for a stronger statute on mandated reporting of child abuse. All responsible citizens with knowledge of child abuse, which is a crime, should be required to report it, even if it's only suspected. Write letters, e-mail, make phone calls … take action.
It's time for America to wake-up! Knowledge is power. Learn all you can about child abuse. Educate yourself, your children, your family, your friends, neighbors --- everyone you know. We must keep our children safe!
April is National Child Abuse Prevention month.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
New York child welfare workers held accountable in child’s death
According to media sources, two former child welfare workers were indicted yesterday in the death of a 4 year-old Brooklyn girl who was starved, beaten and drugged.
This is the first such prosecution in city history thanks to Kings County District Attorney Charles Hynes.
If ACS caseworker Damon Adams did his job and visited Marchella Brett-Pierce in her Bedford-Stuyvesant home, she might be alive today. Instead records indicate that he did not visit the home, but did falsify records after the girl died weighing just 18 pounds. Chereece Bell, 34, the caseworker's direct supervisor, was charged with failing to monitor his work.
Yesterday Judge Patricia DiMango told news sources: "To say there was no failure here would just defy logic and common sense."
Adams and Bell pleaded not guilty to charges of criminally negligent homicide, official misconduct and endangering the welfare of a child.
Bell's bail was set at $25,000. Adams, who was charged with additional tampering and falsifying records, was ordered held on $35,000 bail.
Caseworkers first became involved with the Brett-Pierce family in November 2009 when Marchella's youngest brother was born with illegal drugs in his system.
Prosecutors said caseworker Adams was supposed to make biweekly visits to the home. He only made two entries in the agency's computer records between March and September which included a phone call with a source involved in the hospital incident and an attempt to visit the home in June. Six days afterwards Marchella died. Adams then posted bogus entries saying he visited the home in March, April, June and August, prosecutors said.
"His failure to make the visits is what ultimately led to her death," Kagan said.
The two ACS workers resigned a month after Marchella was found dead.
Prosecutor Jacqueline Kagan said "This child was wasting away. Had the ACS workers done their job, "this child would have been removed" from the home.”
Marchella's grandmother Loretta Brett, 56, was also indicted Wednesday, pleading not guilty to second-degree manslaughter.
According to prosecutors, Brett slept in the same room as the child night after night as she lay tied in her bed with no food and the grandmother never reported the suspected abuse.
The innocent 4 year-old was beaten, starved, bound to her bed and forced to take multiple doses of Benadryl and other adult medication between July and September.
She died severely malnourished on September 2nd – similar to the horrific abuse and death of Nixzmary Brown in 2006.
Marchella's mother, Carlotta Brett-Pierce, 30, was charged in November with second-degree murder and is awaiting trial.
Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes vowed to investigate whether the city agency followed recommendations it implemented after Nixzmary's death.
Hynes said: "We're going to find at long last what they're doing at ACS so there are no more children fatalities. “
Faye Moore, the head of the Social Service Employees Union, said ACS layoffs and program cuts have overburdened workers. Frankly we’ve been hearing that tired excuse for years. And it’s not just Marchella who died because of ACS failures. ACS has been linked to at least four other child abuse tragedies.
In a statement, ACS said the indictments "may have the opposite effect from what's intended because it may discourage excellent, idealistic individuals from taking" jobs as social workers.
This is not true. First … ACS doesn’t hire just social workers as caseworkers. This reporter saw an ad in the NY Times a few years ago. ACS was looking for caseworkers and the ad read that all one needed was a college degree. They did not have to be a social worker. And while shopping in Bloomingdales this reporter overheard a salesperson saying she was going for an interview to ACS. When this reporter questioned the salesperson about the interview she had just graduated from college with a degree in fine arts and had no work experience other than being a salesperson.
Kudos to District Attorney Charles Hynes for arresting these caseworkers. Our children deserve to live in happy, healthy and safe homes. If their parents are abusive and neglectful than we need a system that will protect them at all costs!
April is National Child Abuse Prevention month. Let’s start protecting our kids instead of protecting the people who are supposed to be protecting them!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Through the eyes of a bullied teen’s video saves a teen’s life
I first heard about Patrick Kohlmann in 2008 on Good Morning America. After a long battle with bullies at school and online, having his life threatened, and receiving a concussion which the Udall Road Middle School in West Islip, New York never even reported to his parents, Patrick reached out in a high-tech cry for help.Patrick Kohlmann, then 13, was afraid to go to school because the violence got so bad. He was picked on, pushed and kicked and the death threats were abundant.
He was so upset and frightened that he told his parents and the school. After numerous complaints by Patrick and his parents to the school, they did little if anything to stop the violence.
So Patrick, created a seven minute montage video urging kids and teens to stop bullying! He posted it on YouTube attracting more than 15,000 viewers.
He even asked his school to show it to students there, but they responded to Patrick’s complaints in their own defense in a six page written document and sent letters to the homes of all of their students in their Long Island district.
That very day STOMP Out Bullying contacted Patrick’s mom and spoke with her to see if we could help. Ultimately the family moved to South Carolina and Patrick is thriving, happy and has become one of our Teen Ambassadors.
Fast forward to a few nights ago, Thursday night, February 3rd when Patrick called me and could barely speak.
His mother received a call from a woman on the West Coast who wanted to thank Patrick for saving her tween daughter’s life.
Patrick’s mom was a bit confused as Patrick was sitting right in front of her. The woman explained that hours before her daughter came to her telling her that she had a noose hanging in her room and something made her go to “YouTube” where she found Patrick’s repost video “Through My Eyes.”
After seeing Patrick’s video she realized she wasn’t alone and that there is hope and help. Patrick’s mom recommended they contact STOMP Out Bullying™ and seek counseling for their daughter, which one can only imagine that they sought counseling immediately.
Patrick, his family and all of us were deeply stunned and grateful that this young girl is alive due to his video. And it is our hope that every kid will watch it.
And my personal message to kids and teens: when it seems so bad that you can’t go on, that there is nowhere to turn, that you can’t take the pain and torment anymore – take a deep breath – think – go to the Internet, watch Patrick’s video, contact STOMP Out Bullying™, tell someone you need help … because there is hope, there is help and there are heroes like Patrick Kohlmann!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
College student tweets to end child abuse: what one person can do!
Becca Jude of New Jersey is an 18 year-old college freshman at Miami University. And she’s not just any college student, she is one with passion, perseverance and commitment.
During her senior year of high school she began researching child abuse. Her research led her to fully realize what a horrific epidemic child abuse is in today’s world. She had no idea how many kids were abused and how many die all over the world. That’s when she found Love Our Children USA.
Being completely addicted to Twitter which her parents weren’t too happy about, Becca decided to create a twitter account to spread the word about how serious the issue of child abuse is and began to raise awareness. Her Twitter name is @st0pchildabuse.
Last July, Love Our Children USA received an email from Becca saying she wanted to raise money and awareness for us on Twitter.
She talked about it on her personal twitter page and spread the word. For the first few days she tweeted facts and statistics about child abuse and put up links to Love Our Children USA’s Website. After two days, she realized that there was more that she could do, because just tweeting about the problem was not enough. So she decided to donate 10 cents to Love Our Children USA for every follower that she gained until 2,500 followers, $250. Her goal of 2,500 followers seemed very far off and she didn’t know how long it would take, or if she would ever get there.
A few days later, Justin Bieber’s mom, Pattie retweeted Becca’s tweet saying she wanted to follow and help spread the word. Becca was thrilled!! Thirty minutes later she gained over 250 followers. The following day Justin Beiber’s Road Manager and a member of his crew, Ryan Good retweeted Becca’s tweets. The account grew to 300 followers! Then Justin’s bodyguard followed, saying he loved the cause. If you are a Bieber fan on twitter any member of Justin’s crew noticing you is a huge deal and the fact that they noticed the account meant a lot to Becca and to Love Our Children USA!
Suddenly the rapper Lil Twist followed. After that the followers just kept increasing and Becca was thrilled that people were supporting her and telling her that what she was doing was amazing and that she was a true inspiration.
When Becca receives all of this kudos she’s not quite sure how to react. She doesn’t think she’s anyone’s hero – but she is to Love Our Children USA and many others!
How many 18-year-old’s do you know who would donate money per tweet to a charity to stop child abuse? Not many!
On September 18, 2010 Becca reached 2,500 followers and raised $250 for Love Our Children USA! That was an amazing day. She cried from happiness and shock! The icing on the cake was that the very next day Justin Bieber followed! That meant so much to Becca because she tells us she is possibly one of Justin Bieber’s biggest fans!
In addition to raising more money and awareness for Love Our Children USA, Becca’s goal is to get Justin Bieber to tweet #st0pchildabsue to spread awareness. She feels Justin’s tweets could really help to make a difference about putting an end to child abuse. Becca feels that Justin’s tweets could help make it a Trending Topic which is much needed, since so many are afraid to talk about child abuse.
Justin has thousands of supporters and raises a great deal of money for his pet charity Pencils of Promise. Becca hopes that somehow she can get him to support Love Our Children USA as well – because not only does the organization work to end violence against children, but they have an amazing signature program called STOMP Out Bullying.
Other well know people who follow Becca @st0pchildabuse are Ellen DeGeneres, Jay Sean, Mandy Rain, Boyz_II_Men, Monique Coleman, Marlon Wayans and a retweet from Boyz II Men!
To date almost 9,140 people follow Becca who donates 5 cents per follower to Love Our Children USA.
Becca also donated to another child abuse prevention group until November 1st, and now is exclusively donating 5 cents per follower to Love Our Children USA.
In addition to looking for celebrity followers, Becca is looking for corporate sponsors to help as well.
She told us that she is so grateful for this account and this cause because it has truly changed her life.
Everyone at Love Our Children USA is so grateful to Becca. Not only is she helping to raise money and awareness, but she is a role model as to what one person can do!
There are many forms of child abuse, including bullying and cyber bullying. By educating parents, we can keep children safe from the very people who are supposed to be protecting them.
Meeting with parents in New York and all over the country, many tell me that they wish there was something they could do to help. Well, here is a college student who is doing something!
Ending child abuse begins with you! It begins with all of us!
Just look at what Becca is doing! Kudos and gratitude to Becca Jude!
During her senior year of high school she began researching child abuse. Her research led her to fully realize what a horrific epidemic child abuse is in today’s world. She had no idea how many kids were abused and how many die all over the world. That’s when she found Love Our Children USA.
Being completely addicted to Twitter which her parents weren’t too happy about, Becca decided to create a twitter account to spread the word about how serious the issue of child abuse is and began to raise awareness. Her Twitter name is @st0pchildabuse.
Last July, Love Our Children USA received an email from Becca saying she wanted to raise money and awareness for us on Twitter.
She talked about it on her personal twitter page and spread the word. For the first few days she tweeted facts and statistics about child abuse and put up links to Love Our Children USA’s Website. After two days, she realized that there was more that she could do, because just tweeting about the problem was not enough. So she decided to donate 10 cents to Love Our Children USA for every follower that she gained until 2,500 followers, $250. Her goal of 2,500 followers seemed very far off and she didn’t know how long it would take, or if she would ever get there.
A few days later, Justin Bieber’s mom, Pattie retweeted Becca’s tweet saying she wanted to follow and help spread the word. Becca was thrilled!! Thirty minutes later she gained over 250 followers. The following day Justin Beiber’s Road Manager and a member of his crew, Ryan Good retweeted Becca’s tweets. The account grew to 300 followers! Then Justin’s bodyguard followed, saying he loved the cause. If you are a Bieber fan on twitter any member of Justin’s crew noticing you is a huge deal and the fact that they noticed the account meant a lot to Becca and to Love Our Children USA!
Suddenly the rapper Lil Twist followed. After that the followers just kept increasing and Becca was thrilled that people were supporting her and telling her that what she was doing was amazing and that she was a true inspiration.
When Becca receives all of this kudos she’s not quite sure how to react. She doesn’t think she’s anyone’s hero – but she is to Love Our Children USA and many others!
How many 18-year-old’s do you know who would donate money per tweet to a charity to stop child abuse? Not many!
On September 18, 2010 Becca reached 2,500 followers and raised $250 for Love Our Children USA! That was an amazing day. She cried from happiness and shock! The icing on the cake was that the very next day Justin Bieber followed! That meant so much to Becca because she tells us she is possibly one of Justin Bieber’s biggest fans!
In addition to raising more money and awareness for Love Our Children USA, Becca’s goal is to get Justin Bieber to tweet #st0pchildabsue to spread awareness. She feels Justin’s tweets could really help to make a difference about putting an end to child abuse. Becca feels that Justin’s tweets could help make it a Trending Topic which is much needed, since so many are afraid to talk about child abuse.
Justin has thousands of supporters and raises a great deal of money for his pet charity Pencils of Promise. Becca hopes that somehow she can get him to support Love Our Children USA as well – because not only does the organization work to end violence against children, but they have an amazing signature program called STOMP Out Bullying.
Other well know people who follow Becca @st0pchildabuse are Ellen DeGeneres, Jay Sean, Mandy Rain, Boyz_II_Men, Monique Coleman, Marlon Wayans and a retweet from Boyz II Men!
To date almost 9,140 people follow Becca who donates 5 cents per follower to Love Our Children USA.
Becca also donated to another child abuse prevention group until November 1st, and now is exclusively donating 5 cents per follower to Love Our Children USA.
In addition to looking for celebrity followers, Becca is looking for corporate sponsors to help as well.
She told us that she is so grateful for this account and this cause because it has truly changed her life.
Everyone at Love Our Children USA is so grateful to Becca. Not only is she helping to raise money and awareness, but she is a role model as to what one person can do!
There are many forms of child abuse, including bullying and cyber bullying. By educating parents, we can keep children safe from the very people who are supposed to be protecting them.
Meeting with parents in New York and all over the country, many tell me that they wish there was something they could do to help. Well, here is a college student who is doing something!
Ending child abuse begins with you! It begins with all of us!
Just look at what Becca is doing! Kudos and gratitude to Becca Jude!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
NOT MY KID: My kid would never bully anyone
How many times have parents been approached by other parents because their kids and teens are being bullied only to hear parents loudly proclaim “NOT MY KID.”
How many times have you blamed your child’s friend or a neighbor for negative behavior of your child? It is not MY kid, it is the friends he/she is hanging with. MY kid would never bully anyone. I taught them better than that, they are too smart for that. But are they smart enough, kind enough, respectful and compassionate for others?
Think about it. The faster you remove yourself from the “NOT MY KID” excuse, the sooner you can work on getting your child the help he/she may need.
Parents should not only look at their kids’ behavior, but as a role model what message do you send to your kids and teens? Do your kids model your behavior? Are you continuing the cycle of what you were taught as a kid?
ENOUGH with the excuse of NOT MY KID! Parents must take responsibility for their child’s behavior!
So, if your child’s school calls you and tells you that your child is bullying other kids, if other parents are complaining to you that your child is bullying their child, or if you notice that your child is constantly getting into fights … take a deep breath and admit that your child has a problem.
Drop the stance of denial or feeling that others are being mean to their child. It takes a courageous and open parent to realize that their child has a problem and that they need help.
Parents may think there is no problem – that it’s just a little teasing, or that it’s natural for kids to fight with one another. Take all accusations of bullying seriously. What may seem natural to you may be harming others a great deal.
Sit down and have a conversation with your kid. Tell them that the school or other parents have reported their aggressive behavior, that you love them no matter what, that their behavior has to change and that you support the school’s punishment and will not tolerate this behavior.
Explain that bullying, whether it’s physical or verbal, causes pain to others. Let them know that name-calling, teasing, hitting, pushing, starting or spreading rumors are wrong and not acceptable behavior.
Let your child know that you will help them to change the behavior and correct the situation. Ask them how they think the bullying could stop. What do they think has to change in order for them to change?
Depending on the age of the child, they may not know any better. Young children, especially, need to be told that hurting another child is not acceptable.
After you have thoroughly discussed this with your child, meet with their teacher. Listen to the teacher’s perspective without being judgmental.
Let the teacher know that you are willing to work with the school to help stop your child from bullying. It’s important to tell the teacher if there are any family problems that you might be experiencing.
Additional counseling may be needed for your child. It will help them learn to behave differently, accept responsibility for their actions and teach them how to develop guilt, as well as learn how to form cohesive relationships.
Parents need to understand that ignoring these signs or blaming it on others is not going to help your child. You need to seek help so it doesn’t escalate to anything worse. A parent in denial is not helping their kids, it is actually harming them.
There isn’t any shame in having a kid that is who is a bully, the only shame is if you don’t get your kids help!
How many times have you blamed your child’s friend or a neighbor for negative behavior of your child? It is not MY kid, it is the friends he/she is hanging with. MY kid would never bully anyone. I taught them better than that, they are too smart for that. But are they smart enough, kind enough, respectful and compassionate for others?
Think about it. The faster you remove yourself from the “NOT MY KID” excuse, the sooner you can work on getting your child the help he/she may need.
Parents should not only look at their kids’ behavior, but as a role model what message do you send to your kids and teens? Do your kids model your behavior? Are you continuing the cycle of what you were taught as a kid?
ENOUGH with the excuse of NOT MY KID! Parents must take responsibility for their child’s behavior!
So, if your child’s school calls you and tells you that your child is bullying other kids, if other parents are complaining to you that your child is bullying their child, or if you notice that your child is constantly getting into fights … take a deep breath and admit that your child has a problem.
Drop the stance of denial or feeling that others are being mean to their child. It takes a courageous and open parent to realize that their child has a problem and that they need help.
Parents may think there is no problem – that it’s just a little teasing, or that it’s natural for kids to fight with one another. Take all accusations of bullying seriously. What may seem natural to you may be harming others a great deal.
Sit down and have a conversation with your kid. Tell them that the school or other parents have reported their aggressive behavior, that you love them no matter what, that their behavior has to change and that you support the school’s punishment and will not tolerate this behavior.
Explain that bullying, whether it’s physical or verbal, causes pain to others. Let them know that name-calling, teasing, hitting, pushing, starting or spreading rumors are wrong and not acceptable behavior.
Let your child know that you will help them to change the behavior and correct the situation. Ask them how they think the bullying could stop. What do they think has to change in order for them to change?
Depending on the age of the child, they may not know any better. Young children, especially, need to be told that hurting another child is not acceptable.
After you have thoroughly discussed this with your child, meet with their teacher. Listen to the teacher’s perspective without being judgmental.
Let the teacher know that you are willing to work with the school to help stop your child from bullying. It’s important to tell the teacher if there are any family problems that you might be experiencing.
Additional counseling may be needed for your child. It will help them learn to behave differently, accept responsibility for their actions and teach them how to develop guilt, as well as learn how to form cohesive relationships.
Parents need to understand that ignoring these signs or blaming it on others is not going to help your child. You need to seek help so it doesn’t escalate to anything worse. A parent in denial is not helping their kids, it is actually harming them.
There isn’t any shame in having a kid that is who is a bully, the only shame is if you don’t get your kids help!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Three Bully Suicides In One Week: It Has To STOP
November 4 -11th:
16-year-old Cassidy Joy Andel Cooperstown, N.D. posted a good-bye note on her Facebook Page and hung herself, 14 year-old Samantha Kelly of New Boston, Michigan hung herself and 14-year-old Brandon Bitner of Middleburg, Pennsylvania committed suicide by running into the path of a tractor trailer – all of them tormented by bullying!
This is more than a wake-up call. This is a national crisis and if we don’t do something to educate kids, parents and schools and get everyone working together, I am afraid of what we will see in the next 5-10 years. Our future is disappearing before us because kids and teens are bullying others.
Parents – talk to your kids – everyday. Enough with the “Not My Kid” attitude! Take responsibility and teach your children morals and ethics. I’d rather know my kid was a bully and I could get him /her help to stop it, than hide my head in the sand and live in denial.
And — recognize the signs of bullying and cyberbullying so you can help your child if they are victims. Don’t wait for them to come to you!
Schools – Wake Up! I’m tired of hearing from teachers who say they don’t want to be policemen. It may not be what you signed up for but it’s a different world today! We are living in the wild west frontier with the Internet and kids are getting bolder and more aggressive. So yes teachers and principals, it’s your responsibility to educate our youth about bullying and cyberbullying even if you have to police them!
It really does take a village and for those who think our youth are not in crisis mode – think again!
The bullying and cyberbullying MUST stop!
Parents MUST do better parenting!
Anti-bullying and cyberbullying Education MUST be a priority!
Bullycides MUST STOP!
If you’re being bullied, we know how awful the pain is, but taking your life is NOT the answer!
If you know someone who is being bullied, be an UPSTANDER and help them!
If you’re a bully, ASK FOR HELP. What you’re doing is bad enough, but the reality is you could be responsible for someone taking their life? Can you really live with that? Think about it!
Call STOMP Out Bullying at 888-347-KIDS (5437) for help, call someone, call anyone. There is so much help out there for victims and we’re all here to help the victims get help and to save their lives and we’re here to get help for the bullies so this insanity STOPS once and for all.
Bullying can kill – Kindness goes a long way and feels really good!
Develop a plan for help with the person. If you cannot develop a plan and a suicide attempt is imminent call “911.”
There is help!
Talk to a trusted adult!
Or contact any of these organizations who can and will help you!
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) Deaf Hotline: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Yellow Ribbon 303-429-3530
Boystown Hotline 1-800-448-3000
Covenant House Nineline 1-800-999-9999
The Trevor Helpline 866-488-7386
If you or someone you know is on the verge of suicide PLEASE call 911 immediately so you can get help!
Life may not feel so great right now, but there is hope!
STAY ALIVE!
SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE!
Ross Ellis
Founder and CEO
Love Our Children USA (http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/ )and STOMP Out Bullying (http://www.stompoutbullying.org/)
16-year-old Cassidy Joy Andel Cooperstown, N.D. posted a good-bye note on her Facebook Page and hung herself, 14 year-old Samantha Kelly of New Boston, Michigan hung herself and 14-year-old Brandon Bitner of Middleburg, Pennsylvania committed suicide by running into the path of a tractor trailer – all of them tormented by bullying!
This is more than a wake-up call. This is a national crisis and if we don’t do something to educate kids, parents and schools and get everyone working together, I am afraid of what we will see in the next 5-10 years. Our future is disappearing before us because kids and teens are bullying others.
Parents – talk to your kids – everyday. Enough with the “Not My Kid” attitude! Take responsibility and teach your children morals and ethics. I’d rather know my kid was a bully and I could get him /her help to stop it, than hide my head in the sand and live in denial.
And — recognize the signs of bullying and cyberbullying so you can help your child if they are victims. Don’t wait for them to come to you!
Schools – Wake Up! I’m tired of hearing from teachers who say they don’t want to be policemen. It may not be what you signed up for but it’s a different world today! We are living in the wild west frontier with the Internet and kids are getting bolder and more aggressive. So yes teachers and principals, it’s your responsibility to educate our youth about bullying and cyberbullying even if you have to police them!
It really does take a village and for those who think our youth are not in crisis mode – think again!
The bullying and cyberbullying MUST stop!
Parents MUST do better parenting!
Anti-bullying and cyberbullying Education MUST be a priority!
Bullycides MUST STOP!
If you’re being bullied, we know how awful the pain is, but taking your life is NOT the answer!
If you know someone who is being bullied, be an UPSTANDER and help them!
If you’re a bully, ASK FOR HELP. What you’re doing is bad enough, but the reality is you could be responsible for someone taking their life? Can you really live with that? Think about it!
Call STOMP Out Bullying at 888-347-KIDS (5437) for help, call someone, call anyone. There is so much help out there for victims and we’re all here to help the victims get help and to save their lives and we’re here to get help for the bullies so this insanity STOPS once and for all.
Bullying can kill – Kindness goes a long way and feels really good!
Develop a plan for help with the person. If you cannot develop a plan and a suicide attempt is imminent call “911.”
There is help!
Talk to a trusted adult!
Or contact any of these organizations who can and will help you!
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) Deaf Hotline: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Yellow Ribbon 303-429-3530
Boystown Hotline 1-800-448-3000
Covenant House Nineline 1-800-999-9999
The Trevor Helpline 866-488-7386
If you or someone you know is on the verge of suicide PLEASE call 911 immediately so you can get help!
Life may not feel so great right now, but there is hope!
STAY ALIVE!
SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE!
Ross Ellis
Founder and CEO
Love Our Children USA (http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/ )and STOMP Out Bullying (http://www.stompoutbullying.org/)
Labels:
bullying,
bullying suicides,
cyberbullying,
parenting,
principals,
save a life,
schools,
teachers
“Battling Bullies” WABC TV Special With Guest Ross Ellis, Love Our Children USA
Ross Ellis, founder and chief executive officer of Love Our Children USA and STOMP Out Bullying was a special guest on the show and chatted with viewers on line offering help and hope. Watch the Video!WABC TV ”Battling Bullies” with guest Ross Ellis
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Another teen suicide: Teen bullied because of learning disability
Seventeen year old Jesse Buchsbaum from Boyertown, PA hanged himself Monday night.
His friends have told his family that the quiet shy teen may have been bullied recently.
The grieving family fears that triggered the suicide and is sure that Jessie had been constantly bullied as a result of him being little, and having a speech impediment and learning disability.
His mother told news sources that there was an incident back in junior high school and most recently an incident involving kids hanging outside a local McDonalds, laughing and pointing at Jesse.
Although little research has been conducted on the relation between learning disabilities (LD) and bullying, research indicates that children with LD are at greater risk of being teased and physically bullied.
Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are more likely than other children to be bullied. They also are somewhat more likely than others to bully their peers.
Children with medical conditions that affect their appearance (e.g., cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, and spina bifida) are more likely to be victimized by peers. Frequently, these children report being called names related to their disability
Obesity also may place children at higher risk of being bullied. In a study of children aged 11–16, researchers found that overweight and obese girls (aged 11–16) and boys (aged 11–12) were more likely than normal-weight peers to be teased or to be made fun of and to experience relational bullying (e.g., to be socially excluded). Overweight and obese girls were also more likely to be physically bullied.
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE
His friends have told his family that the quiet shy teen may have been bullied recently.
The grieving family fears that triggered the suicide and is sure that Jessie had been constantly bullied as a result of him being little, and having a speech impediment and learning disability.
His mother told news sources that there was an incident back in junior high school and most recently an incident involving kids hanging outside a local McDonalds, laughing and pointing at Jesse.
Although little research has been conducted on the relation between learning disabilities (LD) and bullying, research indicates that children with LD are at greater risk of being teased and physically bullied.
Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are more likely than other children to be bullied. They also are somewhat more likely than others to bully their peers.
Children with medical conditions that affect their appearance (e.g., cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, and spina bifida) are more likely to be victimized by peers. Frequently, these children report being called names related to their disability
Obesity also may place children at higher risk of being bullied. In a study of children aged 11–16, researchers found that overweight and obese girls (aged 11–16) and boys (aged 11–12) were more likely than normal-weight peers to be teased or to be made fun of and to experience relational bullying (e.g., to be socially excluded). Overweight and obese girls were also more likely to be physically bullied.
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE
Saturday, October 2, 2010
National Cyber Safety Month Awareness Month – October, 2010 - National Cyber Safety | Examiner.com
National Cyber Safety Month Awareness Month – October, 2010 - National Cyber Safety Examiner.com
October is National Cyber Safety Awareness Month and it’s important for you and your family to be cyber smart and cyber safe!
Learn how to keep your children safe on the Internet. So many parents say "my child would never meet anyone from the Internet" ....yet the reality is that so many kids are looking for something more ... someone more ... more love ... more attention ... and when a stranger tells them how wonderful they are and how happy they can make them ... don't be fooled! Your kids will believe them.
Love Our Children USA offers you internet safety facts … Advice for parents and childcare givers to help keep your children surf serious, surf smart and surf safe
Here you will find information on parental control software, keeping kids from visiting inappropriate websites and ensuring their use of appropriate monitored chatrooms. You can also learn about cyber bullying which is serious and on the rise!
You will also find information which will help keep you cyber safe. The more cybersafe parents are, the safer their children will be online.
Read more of the article here
October is National Cyber Safety Awareness Month and it’s important for you and your family to be cyber smart and cyber safe!
Learn how to keep your children safe on the Internet. So many parents say "my child would never meet anyone from the Internet" ....yet the reality is that so many kids are looking for something more ... someone more ... more love ... more attention ... and when a stranger tells them how wonderful they are and how happy they can make them ... don't be fooled! Your kids will believe them.
Love Our Children USA offers you internet safety facts … Advice for parents and childcare givers to help keep your children surf serious, surf smart and surf safe
Here you will find information on parental control software, keeping kids from visiting inappropriate websites and ensuring their use of appropriate monitored chatrooms. You can also learn about cyber bullying which is serious and on the rise!
You will also find information which will help keep you cyber safe. The more cybersafe parents are, the safer their children will be online.
Read more of the article here
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Parents of bullied kids: Should they be adult bullies in defense of their kids?
James Jones, a furious Florida dad stormed onto his child’s school bus because his 13-year-old daughter who suffers from cerebral palsy had been bullied.
It’s normal for a parent to be upset about their children being bullied. And no one can ever fault this dad for being upset. His poor child was being tormented by boys on the bus.
Yet, this dad terrified innocent kids on the bus, used the “F” word and threatened to kill whoever was responsible for bullying his daughter. Death threats cannot be taken lightly no matter how upset a person is.
Does her deserve jail? NO! But, as diffifcult as it is, Mr. Jones along with other parents need to approach this issue rationally.
Yesterday, parents in New York went to a bully’s home and told the bully’s parents that their child was bullying their child. But it didn’t stop there. They threatened the bully with horrible things that would happen to him.
The bully’s parents were devastated that their child was a bully and have already taken steps to rectify the situation, but to have their child threatened by adults was taking it too far.
Read More Of This Article Here
It’s normal for a parent to be upset about their children being bullied. And no one can ever fault this dad for being upset. His poor child was being tormented by boys on the bus.
Yet, this dad terrified innocent kids on the bus, used the “F” word and threatened to kill whoever was responsible for bullying his daughter. Death threats cannot be taken lightly no matter how upset a person is.
Does her deserve jail? NO! But, as diffifcult as it is, Mr. Jones along with other parents need to approach this issue rationally.
Yesterday, parents in New York went to a bully’s home and told the bully’s parents that their child was bullying their child. But it didn’t stop there. They threatened the bully with horrible things that would happen to him.
The bully’s parents were devastated that their child was a bully and have already taken steps to rectify the situation, but to have their child threatened by adults was taking it too far.
Read More Of This Article Here
Monday, August 23, 2010
Join me for BLUE SHIRT DAY!
From Krysten Moore, Youth and Bullying Prevention Ambassador – Love Our Children USA and STOMP Out Bullying:
It’s that time of year again, back to school shopping is in full swing and the summer is winding down. Although things get crazy with the start of a new school year we need to focus on one important thing and that is to be considerate and respectful to everyone we encounter throughout our day.
Bullying has become an epidemic and I need your help to stop it. The first step to stopping bullying starts with you today. If you haven’t already taken the pledge to STOMP Out Bullying, I’d like to suggest you do – today and everyday.
You can even take bullying and cyberbullying awareness to the next level by participating in BLUE SHIRT DAY (Love Our Children USA’s initiative) by wearing a Blue Shirt Day on Monday, October 4th 2010. Tell your friends and family and get as many people involved as you possibly can.
I hope you will take a stand and join me by wearing a Blue Shirt on Monday October 4th as the day of worldwide prevention to Stomp Out Bullying. You can make a difference, and the way to start is by showing your support and wearing a Blue Shirt on Monday, October 4th.
Just because bullying has been around for a long time doesn’t mean it needs to exist forever so make bullying a thing of the past.
Visit http://www.stompoutbullying.org for details — and make a commitment to STOMP Out Bullying one positive word at a time.
It’s that time of year again, back to school shopping is in full swing and the summer is winding down. Although things get crazy with the start of a new school year we need to focus on one important thing and that is to be considerate and respectful to everyone we encounter throughout our day.
Bullying has become an epidemic and I need your help to stop it. The first step to stopping bullying starts with you today. If you haven’t already taken the pledge to STOMP Out Bullying, I’d like to suggest you do – today and everyday.
You can even take bullying and cyberbullying awareness to the next level by participating in BLUE SHIRT DAY (Love Our Children USA’s initiative) by wearing a Blue Shirt Day on Monday, October 4th 2010. Tell your friends and family and get as many people involved as you possibly can.
I hope you will take a stand and join me by wearing a Blue Shirt on Monday October 4th as the day of worldwide prevention to Stomp Out Bullying. You can make a difference, and the way to start is by showing your support and wearing a Blue Shirt on Monday, October 4th.
Just because bullying has been around for a long time doesn’t mean it needs to exist forever so make bullying a thing of the past.
Visit http://www.stompoutbullying.org for details — and make a commitment to STOMP Out Bullying one positive word at a time.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Why BLUE SHIRT Day matters!

A special message from Cati, your Teen Ambassador:
Wow- I can’t believe the new school year is upon us. It seems like yesterday was the last day and now I get to see all my friends again on the first day. I am so excited for all of the new opportunities and challenges this year will bring. Especially organizing BLUE SHIRT DAY at my school again, it was a blast! Last year was the first time I approached my principal about organizing a BLUE SHIRT DAY at my high school in San Diego. Everyone at my school was happy to participate! This year, I’m thinking BIG, that is why I am asking you to take a stand against bullying and organize your own BLUE SHIRT DAY at your school. If you have ever been bullied, witnessed someone being bullied, or have even heard about bullying, I encourage you to help stop this vicious trend and take a colorful stand on Oct 4, 2010 by simply wearing a BLUE SHIRT. It really is that simple! You have the power to take a stand, be your own hero, and help defend others who may not be able to defend themselves. I want to unite under BLUE and STOMP Out Bullying everywhere across America – around the world. So can I count on you to wear BLUE and make October 4th the day that bullying prevention is heard around the world?
Visit our sister site www.stompoutbullying.org
Visit www.stompoutbullying.org for details.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Girls or Boys? Who are the bigger bullies?
We know that bullying is an ongoing problem which has reached epidemic proportions, with a distinct difference between the actions and responses of boys vs. girls.
Whenever you hear of bullies one might think of boys with their fists tightened ready to fight. We always think of girls as verbal bullies and mean girls who socially alienate and exclude others.
Today we see a rise in boys using verbal bullying, gossip and social exclusion, while we see girls who bully with a lot of it related to sports.
And with the internet, both boys and girls cyberbully at an alarming rate — and it’s anonymous, making it that much easier for kids. With 43% of kids being cyberbullied, it’s been found that girls are cyberbullied more than boys.
Whether its boys or girls bullying and/or cyberbullying, it’s out of control and clearly inappropriate.
We must STOMP Out Bullying!
Whenever you hear of bullies one might think of boys with their fists tightened ready to fight. We always think of girls as verbal bullies and mean girls who socially alienate and exclude others.
Today we see a rise in boys using verbal bullying, gossip and social exclusion, while we see girls who bully with a lot of it related to sports.
And with the internet, both boys and girls cyberbully at an alarming rate — and it’s anonymous, making it that much easier for kids. With 43% of kids being cyberbullied, it’s been found that girls are cyberbullied more than boys.
Whether its boys or girls bullying and/or cyberbullying, it’s out of control and clearly inappropriate.
We must STOMP Out Bullying!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Kid healthy cooking "must haves' that last in your freezer
As we know the Center for Disease Control reports that childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past 30 years. The prevalence of childhood obesity among kids aged 6 to 11 years increased from 6.5% in 1980 to 19.6% in 2008. The prevalence of obesity among adolescents aged 12 to 19 years increased from 5.0% to 18.1%.
Although parents are so busy, many are finding that cooking at home with healthy foods helps in the way their kids are eating.
The idea of “fresh food” is wonderful but may not always be a reality with work and family schedules.
The next best thing is have staples in your freezer so that you can squeeze in a few homemade meals in for your family during your week.
READ MORE OF THE ENTIRE STORY HERE
Although parents are so busy, many are finding that cooking at home with healthy foods helps in the way their kids are eating.
The idea of “fresh food” is wonderful but may not always be a reality with work and family schedules.
The next best thing is have staples in your freezer so that you can squeeze in a few homemade meals in for your family during your week.
READ MORE OF THE ENTIRE STORY HERE
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