NOT MY KID: My kid would never bully anyone

How many times have parents been approached by other parents because their kids and teens are being bullied only to hear parents loudly proclaim “NOT MY KID.”


How many times have you blamed your child’s friend or a neighbor for negative behavior of your child? It is not MY kid, it is the friends he/she is hanging with. MY kid would never bully anyone. I taught them better than that, they are too smart for that. But are they smart enough, kind enough, respectful and compassionate for others?

Think about it. The faster you remove yourself from the “NOT MY KID” excuse, the sooner you can work on getting your child the help he/she may need.

Parents should not only look at their kids’ behavior, but as a role model what message do you send to your kids and teens? Do your kids model your behavior? Are you continuing the cycle of what you were taught as a kid?

ENOUGH with the excuse of NOT MY KID! Parents must take responsibility for their child’s behavior!

So, if your child’s school calls you and tells you that your child is bullying other kids, if other parents are complaining to you that your child is bullying their child, or if you notice that your child is constantly getting into fights … take a deep breath and admit that your child has a problem.

Drop the stance of denial or feeling that others are being mean to their child. It takes a courageous and open parent to realize that their child has a problem and that they need help.

Parents may think there is no problem – that it’s just a little teasing, or that it’s natural for kids to fight with one another. Take all accusations of bullying seriously. What may seem natural to you may be harming others a great deal.

Sit down and have a conversation with your kid. Tell them that the school or other parents have reported their aggressive behavior, that you love them no matter what, that their behavior has to change and that you support the school’s punishment and will not tolerate this behavior.

Explain that bullying, whether it’s physical or verbal, causes pain to others. Let them know that name-calling, teasing, hitting, pushing, starting or spreading rumors are wrong and not acceptable behavior.

Let your child know that you will help them to change the behavior and correct the situation. Ask them how they think the bullying could stop. What do they think has to change in order for them to change?

Depending on the age of the child, they may not know any better. Young children, especially, need to be told that hurting another child is not acceptable.

After you have thoroughly discussed this with your child, meet with their teacher. Listen to the teacher’s perspective without being judgmental.

Let the teacher know that you are willing to work with the school to help stop your child from bullying. It’s important to tell the teacher if there are any family problems that you might be experiencing.

Additional counseling may be needed for your child. It will help them learn to behave differently, accept responsibility for their actions and teach them how to develop guilt, as well as learn how to form cohesive relationships.

Parents need to understand that ignoring these signs or blaming it on others is not going to help your child. You need to seek help so it doesn’t escalate to anything worse. A parent in denial is not helping their kids, it is actually harming them.

There isn’t any shame in having a kid that is who is a bully, the only shame is if you don’t get your kids help!

President Obama's Speech To Kids As They Return To School

There's been a lot of controversy about the speech that President Obama is giving to school children tomorrow.

There are many people up in arms. Some parents are pulling their kids out of school so they don't see or hear the speech, and some schools are refusing to show it.

Has everyone lost their minds? What do they think the President is going to say to our children?

President Obama is clearly a champion of giving kids a good education and offering them a future. After reading the letter that he openly wrote to his daughters earlier this year in Parade Magazine, I can only imagine that he will be a cheerleader for our kids to study hard and stay in school so that they can be anything they want to be. Last time I checked there was nothing wrong with that.

Could these parents and schools be anti-education? Could they be denying our kids a future? Or is it a partisan issue?

No matter who you voted for, no matter what race you are -- this is the President of the United States and he cares about our kids' education!

It behooves every parent to send their kids to school tomorrow and let them hear the speech, and it behooves every school to air the speech.

Frankly, I cannot think of anything more inspiring than the President of the United States telling kids to study hard and stay in school so that they can be whatever they want to be in life!

It certainly would have inspired me when I was a kid!

Click Here to Read President Obama's Remarks

Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
Love Our Children USA

BLUE SHIRT DAY October 5th To STOMP Out Bullying

To signify the importance of National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week (october 4th - 10th), on Monday, October 5th, we are asking kids, teens and adults across the nation to participate in BLUE SHIRT DAY by wearing a blue shirt to STOMP Out Bullying.

Love Our Children USA created this day and chose the color blue because in many diverse cultures blue brings peace.The color conveys importance and confidence.
On Monday, October 5th, Americans across the country will wear blue shirts as they make their way to school or to the office in support of this new annual grassroots national campaign to STOMP Out Bullying.

You can order Blue Shirts from Love Our Children USA or wear your own. The most important thing is to wear a BLUE SHIRT on OCTOBER 5th to school, to work, everywhere --- to show support of bullying and cyberbullying prevention and to STOMP Out Bullying!

Please join this grassroots effort. Someone you know could be bullied. Someone you know might be a bully.

Spread the word – in schools, communities, at work, on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter – tell everyone you know -- friends, family, neighbors, colleagues -- to wear a BLUE Shirt on Monday, October 5th. Let’s put an end to bullying and STOMP it out across the nation! Let's keep America's kids and teens safe at school and in their communities.

www.stompoutbullying.org

Continuing the Cycle of Love and Nurturing
When a child pushes a parent’s buttons or misbehaves, sometimes all a parent can do is to lose their temper or speak harshly to their child. And sometimes …a parent treats their child the way they were treated …with anger and violence – continuing the cycle. Today, parents are more sophisticated than they were 20 or 30 years ago. And they’re busier and overwhelmed. By continuing the cycle of how our parents treated us when we were children isn’t necessarily positive parenting. That doesn’t always mean our parents were bad parents –it might mean they were continuing the cycle of how they were treated. It’s time to break the cycle today! Whether you’re a parent who is over-whelmed or one who is continuing the cycle … think back to your childhood. How were you treated?Did you live in a loving home? Or did you live in an angry and violent home?If you lived in a loving home, then you will want to continue that cycle with your children.If you lived in an angry and violent home, you remember what growing up was like. It was sad, lonely and frightening.Is that the kind of home you want your child to grow up in?By loving and nurturing your children and treating them with kindness, respect and understanding, you are ending an old cycle and beginning a new one.You CAN stop the violence, anger and neglect BEFORE it ever starts!Take a deep breath, count to ten, seek help through anger management and parenting classes or consult with a psychologist. The caring, compassion, love and respect you show your children will make such a difference in your relationship with your children and you -- and your entire family. Children understand positive behaviors.Become a parent who loves and nurtures your child enough to grow up to become a happy and healthy adult who continues that cycle!What a wonderful gift to give your children ... and their children, and theirs, and theirs, and theirs ... etc!If you need help or resources to break the cycle of anger and violence and begin a new cycle of love and nurturing, please contact Love Our Children USA.